I have STOPPED cutting.

I’ve decided to finally say this out loud and make it real to myself.

I’ve stopped cutting months ago, but the thoughts and urges keep coming all the time. It’s really hard not giving in, but I haven’t. I have stayed strong and will continue to stay strong. As of today, I will tell myself I have stopped self-injuring, not that I may go back into doing it.

They say once you cut you become a cutter, and by becoming a cutter – even if you stop cutting one day – you will forever be a cutter. But you know what? No! That is not true. People aren’t “cutters” because they’ve cut themselves; People are human and make mistakes. We are sinful in many ways, and self injuring is one of them. But, just like all other sins, Jesus had it nailed on the cross. He forgives and throws away all the wrong acts we’ve done into the deep ocean – as long as we let Him live in our hearts and repent.

Since I was a kid I used to harm myself by scratching, hair pulling, biting, picking and hitting myself. I only realised it was a problem when the only moment I would stop hurting myself was when I saw blood.

Guys, if you see a child doing something bad to themselves, tell them it is not good for them. Please. It could prevent their situation from getting worse. Sometimes they have no idea what they’re doing or why. They need help.

Also, if you cut, know that recovery is possible! Hold on tight and never stop believing! ❤ I myself was very sceptical about healing something that’s so personal, but look at me now! I’m FREE! And you can be free too! You are not alone! The fight is worth it!

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “I have STOPPED cutting.

  1. tonalartist says:

    I used to cut as well. You are not alone. I will be praying for your continual recovery.

  2. I cut from age 14 until age 25. It was when I found Jesus (or he found me) that I was able to move past cutting. Cutting is one of things that’s hard to talk about and I admire your bravery for writing about it. I still have the old scars but as one of my favourite songs says ‘Scars are souvenirs we never lose’…

    • From what I’ve read on your blog about your current age, you’re 3 years free from self-injuring! Well done! That is wonderful! And even more wonderful that you have been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! 🙂
      I find it extremely hard to talk about cutting to anyone, but writing about it flows naturally, and I’m really used to doing it. I guess it’s because I can be myself over here – without masks -, for nobody I know in real life knows about my “secret place” (blog) except for my fiancée. Everybody in university, for example, knows I suffer with depression, for it’s something that, for me, was impossible to hide. But none of those people know that I used to hurt myself – it’s something that was easier to cover up. I’m afraid of being judged and people never looking at me the same way again, I don’t know. But online I can truly express myself, help others that suffer from the same problem, understand cutting in a deeper and more rational way and recover quicker in doing so.
      Scars remind me of battles that are now over. And – most importantly – the victory I had over them with G*d’s help.

  3. loveaskswhy says:

    Well done – congratulations! Just keep your eyes on the prize, which is Jesus! One of the beautiful things about the cross is that it enables us to take our eyes off ourselves and our issues, and stops us being sin consciouse. As we focus on Him, we gain a right perspective about who we are, what we have been given, and where we are going! : )

    • Thank you! I really want that prize! What do you mean by “stops us being sin conscious”? I’ve never heard that before.

      • loveaskswhy says:

        Hi again! Well, to answer your question, when we don’t realize how total Jesus’ death and resurrection were, we tend to think that when we came to know him, all our past sin is forgiven and forgotten by God. But somehow we make a difference between that sin and what we might do today or tomorrow that is still missing the mark in a minor or major way. But Jesus did a total job! He meant it when he said it is finished!

        I did a blog on the difference between sin and sinning which you might like to take a look at to save going into all that here – briefly though, Jesus broke the power of sin in your life. You are no longer a slave to sin. You are righteous. Not because you do or don’t sin now. But because he permanently made you that way. Keeping you is his problem, not yours! The Bible say that he is able to keep us from falling. He is teaching us, conforming us to his image over the whole course of our lives.

        Knowing you are permanently eternally righteous in God’s sight takes the striving out of your life. Your relationship with him is not determined by your behaviour – how much you have sinned today. Your relationship with him does not change because he set it in place and paid the price for it.

        We are called to lived in rest as Christians. Rest means not working! You can’t save yourself, keep yourself or make yourself any more acceptable to God than you are right now. It is amazaing how strong a role condemnation and striving plays in addictive behaviour. When those things are removed and we relax, often the road is not so hard.

        So what I was meaning by sin conscious, or self conscious, is that we have been relieved of the pressure of having to be conscious of our sin and behaviour. We are not keeping ourselves or trying to live righteously, instead we live spontaneously, in his power. We lift our eyes from ourselves and our situation to Jesus, and know that he has it all in hand. We just get on with loving him! Our salvation is total, as total as the day we received it!

        • Thanks for taking time to explain this! I’ve also just read that post on your blog. I know Christ died and resurrected to free us from all sin (past, present and future), but I guess the “not being sin conscience” term is a bit… I don’t know… in my opinion it doesn’t seem adequate for it could mean different things. But after all the explanation I think I see what you meant now.

          According to Wikipedia, “conscience is an aptitude, faculty, intuition or judgment of the intellect that distinguishes right from wrong.” So being “sin conscience” could have two meanings, the first one being what immediately came into my mind (and that’s why I questioned you about it) and the second one being what you meant (I think – but please tell me if I’m wrong).

          Sin conscious:
          1 – Being aware that you sin(ned); knowing the difference between wrong and right; being aware that sin exists.
          2 – Being trapped in sin; viewing things based on a sinful perspective.

          In sum of how the wordings could be used to mean totally different things, one could say that: A Christian is to be (1) conscious that sin is bad and avoid it at every turn, but should not live (2) fixated and focused on it.

          • loveaskswhy says:

            Hi! I meant “sin conscious” more in the second explanation you gave, as in “fixated and focused on it”. I was really meaning just being aware of sin.

            Think of it like being self conscious. A person can be self conscious and be so constantly aware of themselves – how they look, what they say, what people might be thinking about them – that they are miserable and not able to relax and enjoy life and just live spontaneously.

            We also know that the best friendships grow out of being more aware and concerned about our friend than ourselves.

            And we know the best conversations come out of being a good listener rather than always being the one talking.

            It is in that sense that I mean conscious in regard to sin.

            Imagine you buy things at a local store where you run a tab. It’s a small store and you are friendly with the owner. When you shop there, you would be aware always of how high the tab is. If it is high, you are thinking as you shop “I hope he doesn’t say anyting about me not paying. I hope I can buy these items with the tab so high” etc. You are aware that there is something outstanding, and that it could get worse. You are conscious of it and it has the ability to affect your friendship with the store owner.

            Same thing in our relationship with God. Unless we really see how free and how forgiven we are, not just at salvation, but right now, every day, we will always be checking to see if there is something outstanding with God, something to confess.

            If the tab in the store is paid up, you walk in bright and breezy, buy what you want, and know your relationship with the store owner will not be affected by your tab. Same thing with God! Jesus has permanently paid your tab! Sin has no power to affect your relationship with God. There is nothing that can separate you, no sin you have commited or are commiting that can separate you, or that you are not forgiven for – not because you earn forgiveness, but because it is a constant free gift!

            So… a lack of sin consciousness or sin awareness is really important in our relationship with God, and it can only come from a true revelation of the extent of the finished work of the cross is our lives.
            Hope this clarifies things a bit! : )

            • I can help a bit…

              When one is baptized and accepts Christ we become dead to the law, or force of sin. Sin separates us from right standing with our Heavenly Father. Because Christ paid for our sin debt on the cross we are put in right standing and have the forgiveness of our sins. We are no longer slaves to the force of sin.

              But God does more than save us from our sins. He loves us too much to leave us where we are. When we accept Christ he takes up residence in our hearts and starts a sanctifying, or cleansing work. He brings light and life to the dark parts of our hearts.

              We are also blessed with the Holy Spirit. One of the jobs of the Holy Spirit is that it convicts us. The Holy Spirit is like our conscience and in a way is the voice of God. The Holy Spirit gently speaks to us and makes us aware of changes we might make so that our lives align with the good that God wants for us.

              In Christ, our sins our paid, we are no longer guilty if we confess our sin and if we recognize our need for him, and rely on Him. Part of following Christ is to rely on him. As humans we are imperfect and we need the power of Christ working in and through us. When we are conscious of our sin we see our need for that saving grace and the power of God to overcome things and enter into the wholeness and the calling and the wonderful plans that God has for us.

              Hope this helps!

              • Thanks for sharing! Now reading, “When we are conscious of our sin we see our need for that saving grace and the power of God to overcome things and enter into the wholeness and the calling and the wonderful plans that God has for us.” I see it doesn’t mean confessing our sins ALL the time, and yes when we’ve accepted Jesus into our hearts!

            • After reading this I read your “To confess or not to confess” post and could understand more! Thank you! t made me think about how easier it is to not sin (cut) by not thinking about falling for it all the time.

Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s