Lust

Dictionary definition of “lust”:

 n. 1. Intense or unrestrained sexual craving.
2. a. An overwhelming desire or craving: a lust for power.
b. Intense eagerness or enthusiasm: a lust for life.
3. Obsolete Pleasure; relish.

intr.v. lust·edlust·inglusts

To have an intense or obsessive desire, especially one that is sexual.

According to the Bible:

What is ‘to lust’? “You have heard that it was said, ‘do not commit adultery,’ but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right hand causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for you whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27-28

Why should I not lust? “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honour, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

What are the consequences of lusting? “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:8

What can I do to stop lusting? “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16

Should married couples feel lust towards each other? “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4

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2 thoughts on “Lust

  1. I like your post, but I admit I am troubled when it comes to these verses. There are many interpretations of lust, and biblical references to it that don’t coincide with the dictionary definition, at times. I get confused. I mean, I don’t feel like the verse given answers the question “should married couples feel lust towards each other.” Of course married couples should not be sexually immoral or adulterous, but what’s wrong with them feeling “intense and unrestrained sexual craving” for the other? If I was married, I would want my husband to feel intense sexual craving for me, and I would probably feel the same for him! Cuz we would be married after all.

    And then there are people who say that “sex before marriage” does not equal fornication. Because in the context of verses that talk about fornication in the Bible, they were talking about immoral sexual acts with many people and with their false gods. Not to mention in the Bible people got married much earlier than they do today, lol at like 12.

    I hope I don’t come off like I’m attacking you, cuz I’m not trying to. I’m Christian, a self harmer, and someone who lusts and has sex consistently outside of marriage. And I’m scared of God sending me to hell for these things. But I also know that when I’m sexual, it feels okay, like God would rather me experience closeness with someone who cares about me than for me to cut myself. But then again my therapist says my sex life is a form of self harm. Argh I just confuse myself.

    Thanks for posting though 🙂

    • Thank you for commenting! Don’t worry, it doesn’t seem like you’re attacking me. Lots of people have questions about this topic and I wrote a few questions just with verses to answer – even though not directly – because I feel I could go on and on about each topic and so many other more regarding lust, but of course I too have my doubts and so I don’t yet feel confident about doing so. Something else I should say is that those questions and the verses that answer them were “my idea”, as in, I didn’t get it from anybody or anything else (pastors, books – except the Bible, etc) other than God’s answers to my prayers, that’s why they may not be complete and actually just be a kind of “pushing” towards the truth for the reader to search for, and not really all you’ve ever wanted to know about it, if you know what I mean. Also, as I think you already know, lust isn’t just about sex – it also has to do with pornography (1 John 2:16) and “dirty” thinking.

      Regarding the question “Should married couples feel lust towards each other?” I have the same thoughts of you as in wanting my future husband to crave me sexually so I can satisfy him in every way. Married couples should want their partners to be happy and should both seek God, so I believe that if both of them are, say, having sex in an intense way to please each other, it’s okay and in accordance to God’s will, for He wants us to experience that. (This is why I don’t believe sex is just for children-making, think it’s wrong to cut out parts of the body – for example the clitoris for the women to not have an orgasm or feel pleasure, am favourable of using preservatives, and so on.) All of what they do has to, of course, be in accordance to the Bible.

      But, if the couple is sexually engaging only to please their own selves (self-centred and selfish) and only wanting to satisfy their own flesh rather than their spouse’s, then something’s wrong. That also leads to “types of sexual acts” that could be discussed to be pure lust, not love (such as maybe hitting them during the act or forcing them to do something to you that they’re not prepared to do for any reason – from physical pain in doing it, not enough emotional attachment yet, thinking it’s disgusting, etc). So the couple needs to consent with everything that is done.

      There are lots of verses that talk about lust and a pure relationship with your spouse, and there are lots of people and sites that could explain it far better than I – talking about the biblical perspectives on sex before marriage and what’s right and wrong to do in bed. I strongly recommend you to seek more information about it and would gladly help and even want to learn with you, especially about “How far is too far?” regarding such things. I’ll write another post about good sites to read and preachings to hear about that. I’ve seen many different ones, but don’t have a proper list so I’d have to search for everything again.

      But for now, here are two sites that can help, especially on the “Why should I save sex for marriage?” case: http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=152 and http://www.christiananswers.net/q-sum/sum-f001.html and http://www.xxxchurch.com

      As you know, I’ve also struggled with self harm and it’s urges, and the most common thing to do is find something to do instead of it until the urge goes away. You can do lots of things instead – physical or not – to give you what self-injuring would give you (whatever the reason it is you do it). So maybe your psychologist is right in saying you’re using sex to cover up not self-harming, so be careful with its (bad) consequences. Here’s a list of alternatives that you can choose from: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/ and I’ll also write about that in another post, if you don’t mind, for this reply is getting very big! (I’m sorry!)

      Thank you again for writing. Hit me up on anything you need and I’ll do my best to try and help. I’ll be praying for you. 🙂 God bless! Keep safe! ❤

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