Why God designed marriage to be between a man and woman. – A different approach.

I’m not going to write here about the “normal” approach given on this theme (about it being “natural”, about God creating man and woman, about the Bible forbidding homosexuality, about being fruitful and multiplying, etc) for there are many posts saying those things. I’m going to write about something more personal and emotional that has been on my mind these past weeks, that I’ve never read anything about or heard anyone comment on. I’ll try to make it as simple as I can.


Man and woman are different. 

Men want and need more respect. (Eph. 5:25) Women want and need more love. (Eph. 5:33) Therefore, men find it easier to show respect. Women find it easier to show love. Men are more rational, logic, tough, not-touchy. Women are more emotional, sentimental, delicate, touchy. Men have a waffle mind (dividing everything in compartments). Women have a spaghetti mind (linking events together).

All these things make man and woman’s coexistence complicated. Including marriage.

Girl plus Girl and Boy plus Boy = Easy peasy.

Girls know what girls like. Boys know what boys like. I can’t help but think how much simpler and easier relationships would be if one person knew about how the other person would react to everything, know exactly what to say to the other person without hurting them, knowing what gift they’d like best… simply by using the phrase, “How would I like them to treat me?” because, in all seriousness, having a relationship with someone that is your “opposite” (man x woman) is hard. It takes a lot of effort. I know not all girls and boys are the same, but we do share the same “principles”, dreams, desires and even “love languages” a lot of the time.

Why would God want, and better yet – design – the hard way?

When we have a loving relationship with another person (especially by marrying them) we mould each other. We are like a rock full of lumps and spikes that keep hurting and bumping into each other. Man and woman have different lumps and spikes, and by coexisting, they keep pushing against each other and eventually smoothing one another, making them more perfect, making them Jesus-like by taking away their selfishness and making them humble and true. This isn’t possible in a relationship where both people are almost the same, in other words, in a woman-woman or man-man one. They wouldn’t smoothen each other out! They wouldn’t perfect one another!

To me, marriage between man and woman is a beautiful, miraculous gift from God. It’s complicated and difficult, yet joyful and wonderful. Not to mention that God designed husband and wives for different purposes (who’d have whose role in a gay relationship?) that were perfectly entitled to each one according to what they do best and who they are.

Also, keep in mind that the ultimate marriage model is of Jesus Christ and the church, which is no easy goal, but a really worthwhile one.

“Enter through the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and spacious and broad is the way that leads away to destruction, and many are those who are entering through it.” (Matt. 7:13)

God designed man for woman and woman for man for a much greater purpose than the little keyhole we can look into. He knows what’s best for us. He knows what He’s doing. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder,” says Jesus. (Matt. 19:6)

PS: The “man” and “woman” descriptions I used are generalisations about how man and woman are – as God designed – none better than the other one. I know that some girls are boyish and some boys and girlish, but that’s another matter.

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3 thoughts on “Why God designed marriage to be between a man and woman. – A different approach.

  1. I agree, well said. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Everything must be earned.

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