The end is now!

This is a dream I had a few years ago. (Because of my depression episode, it is very hard for me to distinguish between the years, so I’m sorry about not knowing when I had this dream.)

I was in the middle of a park. It was night time and all around me I saw horrible things happening, such as people being raped, hurting and killing each other, cursing, robbing, screaming and fighting. Many horrid scenes all happening at once. There were lots of people doing these things, along with lots of victims. I felt confused and afraid and desperately wanted to ask someone what was happening. As I looked for someone that was not participating in any of these things, I saw something (in a tall, strong, human form, wearing black) that was just watching everything happen. I remember thinking it was a demon, but not being sure. As I was so desperate to talk to someone, I asked it, and it didn’t respond immediately. It just looked around at the things that were happening with a sad and disturbed expression and afterwards said things to me like, “Don’t you people see? You don’t notice us! You don’t care! It is like we are doing these things in vain! Urrrrgh!” It then started walking/gliding with me and suddenly we were in the middle of a church temple, where lots of people were congregating. Some were singing and very happy, some had their hands in the air, some were day dreaming, some were bored. There was also a pastor in front of the congregation saying that the end was going to happen some time in the near future. I could see through the walls of this church, and all the bad things were happening at the same time and I tried to find someone in the church that saw the same thing as me, but found nobody. I thought to myself, “These people are blind! They don’t see what’s going on!” The creature then came in front of me (I was the only one that could see it) and started shouting very angrily, “You keep saying that the end is coming, but you don’t see! You don’t know! It’s not coming! It’s happening right now! This is it! The end of times is NOW!”

And then I woke up from this very disturbing nightmare-dream which I still don’t know the true meaning/motive of. It either had a scaring or awaring purpose… or both. Do you think we’re living in the end of times?

May God set us apart and protect us from this world that’s full of sin and tragedy, delivering us from the evil that’s all around.

I have STOPPED cutting.

I’ve decided to finally say this out loud and make it real to myself.

I’ve stopped cutting months ago, but the thoughts and urges keep coming all the time. It’s really hard not giving in, but I haven’t. I have stayed strong and will continue to stay strong. As of today, I will tell myself I have stopped self-injuring, not that I may go back into doing it.

They say once you cut you become a cutter, and by becoming a cutter – even if you stop cutting one day – you will forever be a cutter. But you know what? No! That is not true. People aren’t “cutters” because they’ve cut themselves; People are human and make mistakes. We are sinful in many ways, and self injuring is one of them. But, just like all other sins, Jesus had it nailed on the cross. He forgives and throws away all the wrong acts we’ve done into the deep ocean – as long as we let Him live in our hearts and repent.

Since I was a kid I used to harm myself by scratching, hair pulling, biting, picking and hitting myself. I only realised it was a problem when the only moment I would stop hurting myself was when I saw blood.

Guys, if you see a child doing something bad to themselves, tell them it is not good for them. Please. It could prevent their situation from getting worse. Sometimes they have no idea what they’re doing or why. They need help.

Also, if you cut, know that recovery is possible! Hold on tight and never stop believing! ❤ I myself was very sceptical about healing something that’s so personal, but look at me now! I’m FREE! And you can be free too! You are not alone! The fight is worth it!